Two Red Marys and a Yellow Rose


Dear DuPont Circle:
01/01/2011, 14:05
Filed under: Uncategorized

Hi there.  In the event that you don’t remember me, I’m the girl who got her first bluebonnet tattoo at Fatty’s on Connecticut back in 2000.  Yes, you are indelibly imprinted on my person.

Perhaps it is this connection that compels me to write today.  I would like to offer my services as a confidante, a counselor if you will.  Something has happened to you, hasn’t it?  A trauma that you are not yet ready to talk about, perhaps?  I know, I know…I can feel it in the evil juju you’ve been belching into the world lately:

  • The panicked, sweaty disorientation with which you wallop people immediately upon exiting the metro.  The buildings get bored, don’t they?  Why else would they up and exchange places with one another when nobody is paying attention?
  • The food.  Listen to mama on this one – the food.  Front Page, a Falafel is not a Hush Puppy!  And Bistrot du Coin, for the love of God, ratatouille atop Mrs. Baird’s?  Merde!
  • The music.  * * *  Okay, I’ll leave you alone on this one.  I’m from Austin and it just wouldn’t be fair.
  • The “events” you lob at us.  Hilton Washington, I’m talking to you!  Passport to the World took more than my money and several hours of my life; I would like my grace and cleanliness of heart returned asap.  (Reagan may have fared worse than we did at this joint, but only slightly.)

Let me help you.

Concerned Yet Optimistic,

Mary

PS – I still like you more than Georgetown. But Georgetown mugged and beat the tar out of me, so that isn’t saying much.

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